So let’s do it! Literally

So we have decided to start our own little family. Is it that easy? Do you just start? Are these stupid questions! Bit of google research and I start taking folic acid, cut back on the cocktails, eat healthy and apparently just enjoy!

The organised, control freak in me wants to know it all and wants to plan it to ‘the nth degree’.  Much to my husband’s dismay, who was quite happy with last month’s plan of practising every single day! Month one done and the dreaded crimson wave has arrived. Right new plan.

So month two and the staff room chat turns to baby making. One of my older colleagues joked about putting her legs in the air straight after the dirty deed, claiming it worked for her both times. Mental note *try that out later*. Next part of the plan, download a fertility app. I chose ‘Ovia’, won over by its claim “Get pregnant up to 3x faster with Ovia Fertility, the #1 ovulation predictor available.” I found myself obsessing over my fertility score and reading its helpful tips! But my cervical fluid? School glue? Errmmmm YUCK. Month two and the red river has arrived, much to my dismay. I remember the times when I was desperate for this to arrive!

Month three . . . So what’s all this stuff about cervical fluid? Have I actually gone a bit baby making insane but I am now finding myself tracking the ins and outs of my knickers. Yup. I’ve gone crazy baby mad. A chat to my friend who has just recently had a baby and I feel much more normal. She informs me that tracking her basal body temperature after 18 months of trying was her saving grace. So an amazon click and order and my thermometer is on its way.

“Do you stick it up your fanny?” my husband enquires as my digital thermometer arrives on the kitchen table. Am I really having a baby with a man who asks me questions like this! I am pretty sure he thinks I have lost the plot but he is too busy boasting to his friend about the fact he has had sex every day this week. The basal body temperature stuff is really fascinating, it’s amazing watching how your body changes over the month. Why didn’t they teach me this stuff at my high school in sex education instead of “Contraception is the work of the devil” and “Abort a baby and you will go to hell.”

So the anxious waiting begins . . . Will I be on the blob this month?!?